So my first post was kind of a superficial introduction to me, now though, I want to get more into who I really am. As you know, my name is A, I’m short, and fat, I am a brunette with brown eyes, I’m also latina though I was raised in an Irish/Italian household(I’m adopted). So now you have the full description.
Who I am as a person has really nothing to do with my physical descriptors. I am a person who loves. I love my husband, I love my family, I love my pets, I love MUSIC, I love SEX, I love food, I love WEED. Yeah, I said it, I love weed.
We’ll start with food. You don’t get to be my size without having a serious relationship(albeit, most likely a somewhat unhealthy one) with food. My love of food and maybe my slightly unhealthy relationship with food starts with my late Grandmother. My Grandma was the Italian side of my Irish/Italian upbringing. That woman could COOK! She could cook for dozens of people and make it look easy and it was DELICIOUS! When I was a kid in the late 80s/and the 90s, my other grandma(she wasn’t really my grandmother, she was a good friend of my grandparents though she was quite a bit older than them, they had been neighbors in Brooklyn), my Grandma T was a depression era survivor, and whenever she would visit which was often, she would consistently tell you not to waste food. As a result I would make sure to clean my plate of my Grandma’s heavy delicious Italian cooking. Growing up whenever I was depressed or sad my mom would take me shopping and out for lunch or dinner, as such I associated food and shopping with comfort, so it’s not really a big mystery as to why I’m overweight and have bad credit, but whatever. I still love food, and I’m trying now to rewire myself so that when I want something to eat I’m actually hungry and not just bored/sad/upset
Family is where we’ll go next. I was raised in a new york suburb by a single mother. She adopted myself, my brother and sister, and we lived with her parents in the house she grew up in. We still live in that house. Grandma and I had a really close relationship, she was the one I could tell anything to, and though I had older cousins I knew without a doubt that I was her favorite. She had been a smoker from the time she was 12, and she had her voice box removed so her health wasn’t the greatest and when I was 11 she had been sick and in the hospital a long time and ultimately passed away. My Grandpa was also a big influence in my life, though not in the early years… My Grandfather was a union boss, and he was in jail from before I was born until I was about 2 or 3 years old, and then again from the time I was 7 or 8 until I was maybe 10. I knew he was in jail the second time, I could read at a high school level when i was in elementary school, so I knew what the word ‘penitentiary’ meant. My mother, when confronted with that information just sighed, and told me not to tell my brother and sister. Grandpa passed away when I was 16, he had dementia. Mom and I are really close, I’ve never been afraid to go to my mother, she’d be mad sure but she’d get over it, and no matter what her level of disappointment, she always gave unwavering love and support. I grew up with my sister, C, brother TJ, and my mother’s half brother J, J is my age, he’s actually 15 days older than me, and was my grandfather’s son from an extramarital affair(scandalous, I know). The four of us were really close growing up, TJ and I eventually had some really bad blood between us, but growing up we were all 4 of us best friends. When you grow up with brothers and sisters around your same age even though you may have friends outside the house, your best best friends are always the ones you eat dinner with every night, stay up late and watch cheesy tv with, the ones who know your whole story. J has left us now, but we’ll never forget him or stop loving him he chose to leave and that’s his choice. C and I are close, not as close as I would like, but close enough. TJ and I are in a better place as well, I don’t think I would choose to live with him if I had a choice, but since I don’t it’s nice not to be at each others throats. P and I live with Mom, TJ and C, in the house I grew up in.
Okay, enough sentimental stuff, Pets I talked about in my first post so we’ll skip them for now. Music…Music is one of the most important things in life to me. I don’t play an instrument, I sing sometimes very nicely and sometimes very nasally, but whatever, MUSIC! Music is part of what makes life worth living. Music is connection, music is emotion, music is happy/sad/angry/love/hate/the entire scope of human feeling. I like a litle bit of everything, I like rap, I like pop, I like classic rock, metal, hardcore, punk, country, you name it there’s probably a band in the genre that I like.
So now, sex, I’ve always been a very sexual person. I think sex is a very important part of a healthy relationship, you should be able to be open about what you want sexually with the person you are with, if you’re not able to do that then maybe you’re not with the right person. That’s all I’m going to say on it right now.
Last but not least, weed. I’m what you may call a “pot-head”, or a “stoner”. What I’m not is stupid, or lazy. I don’t do hard drugs, I don’t drink very often anymore. I get up every day I go to work, I do my job to the best of my abilities. I don’t smoke and drive, and I don’t EVER smoke during the work day, but when I come home I smoke. I don’t know if I do it to calm my nerves, or give my metabolism a boost, or if I just like the feeling of being stoned. Whatever the reason, it’s really a combination of all those things I guess, but I’m a daily weed smoker, and I don’t think I’ll stop except for being pregnant and breast feeding.
So that’s that then. I’m also kind, hard working, generous, honest, loving, and loyal. That’s who I am. In depth and what not. I started this blog to just talk about myself, and life, and what I’m going through. I’m not in it for how many people read it, honestly I don’t care if anyone’s reading it. If you are reading this though, I hope it’s entertaining.